It Came From Within…

Look at that guy. Doesn’t he look happy. He looks like he has it pretty much altogether doenst he?! To me looking at this picture I would say this ruggedly handsome dude is pretty laid back, very easy going, and is just a all round nice guy. Which for 85% of he time I would say you are correct. But this past month at church we have been going through a sermon series called “It Came From Within” which covered dealing with the following things in our life.

• Guilt

• Anger

• Greed

• Jealousy

When I heard of the series I automatically thought “oh wow.. this sounds like a great series. I’m sure there are going to be a lot of folks who really need to hear this.’ (mistake #1) Then I looked at the topics I was pretty sure I had a handle on all those thing in my life. (mistake #2) and that this series would be just a good overview for me to just be reminded of (mistake #3)

Let me just be honest with you…. I didn’t know just how badly I struggled with all of those topics. The Guilt I have carried from past seasons of life, and how I have let it affect me now still kindof baffles me. I never considered myself and Angry person… but when I was confronted by Christ about how I have held on to past hurts I have allowed those situations and people have control over my life. Then Greed…I know you folks couldn’t possibly imagine that I would be greedy or selfish. But believe it folks I have been and it hasn’t been pretty. Then this week we talked about Jealousy…the power of always not feeling like what we have is enough, and comparing myself to what others may have.

Now I’m not saying all of this to lay out all my dirty laundry, I am just saying that in my mind I thought I was “OK” . I wasn’t a super human christian, I didn’t feel I was completely off track in my walk, but I was “OK”. I think that’s where Satan really wants to get us. He wants us to think that we aren’t perfect but we are cool where we currently are. Because when we start feeling OK then we feel like we can relax a bit and not be as attentive in our walk with Christ. What I realized is that all these different traits and the subsequent feelings, and emotions came from was from within me. I wasn’t letting guilt, anger, greed, and jealously from external forces change my attitude and behaviors. Those traits have always been there, and as of late I have been feeding them, and giving them the attention that they wanted, and thus my outward actions have been affected.

Since this series has started I have really become aware of what I put in me is what comes out, and I need to start making more conscious effort that I need to be pouring more of God’s gifts and word into my life. Because that is the only way that I will be able to daily over come these not so positive traits in my life. Many of you probably would never see these traits in me, but the people that matter the most to me have, and they deserve better. Now that I know just how much of a hold some of these traits have on me I need to be more diligent to squash them out, and not be OK with where I am in my walk with Christ.

I really don’t have a 1,2,3 step at how you can do this, but I just want to say that if you think you are doing OK you really need to take a step back and re-examine everything because I don’t want you to be in the spot I was in earlier this month when you realize… “crap… ” To take the tag line from the series at church. “If it came out of you.. Then it came from within you”

5 Responses to “It Came From Within…”

  1. Ernie
    October 8, 2012 at 7:12 am #

    I’m right there with you, bro. Lots of ugly stuff going on beneath the surface that I didn’t even know was there! Thanks for sharing this stuff – you put yourself out there, but you know God has you and that God defines you. Also, it’s a great encouragement for us to see God working in you like this. Thanks for letting me be a small part of your journey!

  2. Jason Vana
    October 8, 2012 at 9:47 am #

    You might want to add pride to that list…”ruggedly handsome” lol

    I’m right there with you though. We had a staff meeting at church last week and our pastor was talking about our need to own the responsibility of reaching new people for Christ and of forgiving those who hurt us. I sat there and was like, I don’t have any unforgiveness in my heart. Then God rattled off a list of people to me who I still haven’t completely forgiven. Yikes!

  3. Joseph Waldrop
    October 8, 2012 at 12:52 pm #

    “He wants us to think that we aren’t perfect but we are cool where we currently are. Because when we start feeling OK then we feel like we can relax a bit and not be as attentive in our walk with Christ.”

    You hit the nail on the head with those two sentences. Adam, I love how your words came from the heart in this post. So many times as Christians we feel like we have to keep everything tight. Don’t let others know we actually struggle sometimes. In our brokedness is when Christ does his best work. Just look at the cross. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

  4. Adam
    October 8, 2012 at 1:08 pm #

    Thanks Ernie. I knew you would be right there with me on the post. It’s crazy how we skim over things and then at once we are nailed right in face with them.

  5. Adam
    October 8, 2012 at 1:10 pm #

    Thanks Jason! Good to know I’m not the only one that gets these reminders

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